Battle Ships

I have had the most wonderful weekend and wake up this morning happy. The secret: simple things… hearty laughter, good food and plenty of it… all amongst people I love.

C wrote once in a gift to Alicia, ‘friends are the family you choose’. I keep coming back to that saying… over and over… it printed itself on my heart from the day I read it; I find there is great healing power in spending time with the people who make up our family of choice, and this weekend was no exception. My cousin is one such friend; family not by accident but because we choose him. It is good to be around him. Together we are reckless and mischievous. These are welcome youthful qualities for my 37 year old frame. Xavier is a willing partner and forms the third member of our trio. Alicia and my cousin’s fiancée fan the flames with their disapproving smiles.

The five of us took to the paddle boats on the Serpentine; Xavier, complete with lifejacket, at the helm calling for us to go faster. It is hard work on the thighs, but the best kind of exercise… being encouraged on by a three year old. How the memory plays out in my mind is surely different to how others will have experienced it, but I’m not going to let little factual inconsistencies get in the way of my story.

The Serpentine was busy with rowing boats and paddle boats, and we sought out the ‘couplings’, newly formed young couples on an early-ish date. I don’t think it was long before others figured out what we were up to and started to avoid us, but we did managed to throw one man from his seat as we collided, feigning an accident and making profuse apologies. Xavier’s newly purchased bow and arrow brought an equal measure of entertainment, satisfying the hunter instincts in us and nurturing them in him.

My cousin is, like me and others, shaped by his childhood. I wouldn’t volunteer to exchange places with him, he’s had it harder than me. For all his love and sensitivity, he is also a harsh critic and ‘grumpy old men’ conversations flow easily between the two of us. But it doesn’t go unnoticed that this criticism never, ever, extends to me. He treasures me, and shows me endless wells of kindness. I suppose that is why I relax around him, and my ‘self’ rises to the surface.

Being ourselves sounds like it should be the state that requires the least effort, a default position. But in truth, it is easy only when I arrive there, and to get there I have to resist working so hard to conceal my vulnerabilities. In an animal way, happiness comes from being flawed amongst others, and still feeling safe. So I surround myself with people I love, with people who are not afraid to be vulnerable too, and together we have the time of our lives.